By Stephanie Politte
My kids are crazy. They get into, well…everything. I can’t turn my back for even a moment, because something scary or messy or both will happen. Here is but a sampling of the havoc wreaked by my precious little ones:
I walked from the kitchen down the hall to my bedroom to get my cell phone. As I returned to the kitchen, I found my 3 oldest children playing in a sandbox of sorts which they had created out of 10 lbs of flour they had retrieved from a canister. 15 minutes after I had finished cleaning up said mess, a 5 lb bag of sugar met the same fate at their sneaky little hands. I know, I know. Why didn’t I learn my lesson and move the canisters out of their reach?
Sept. 9, 2010
I was sitting on the couch in the living room feeding my newborn while the oldest 3 were playing down the hall in the twins’ room. Suddenly, I heard Adeline’s voice coming from the front door. I jumped up to open the door and found the twins (2 years old) playing in the front yard. I chased them around the yard and herded them back indoors to find that they had opened the window in their room and ripped a toddler-sized hole in the screen and jumped 4 feet to the ground. Campbell (1 year old) was standing on the toy box trying to figure out how to follow suit.
The kids were playing in the playroom in the basement. I heard, well…silence, and immediately knew something was awry. I went downstairs to find the 3 oldest (and the carpet and most of the playroom toys) covered in my craft paint, which had been secured in another room in a tool box. I could not get the paint out of anything. The carpet was pulled up and thrown away, and we shaved their heads. Well, we didn’t shave their heads…but I wanted to.
June 9, 2011
I was blow drying Adeline’s hair in the bathroom, and Anderson came running in saying there was smoke in the living room. I ran in to see what he was talking about, and the whole story became apparent. Campbell and Anderson had acquired a pair of scissors from the kitchen and proceeded to try and cut through the cord of a lamp that was plugged into the wall. The scissors were still clamped halfway through the cord, smoking. A small hole was burned into the metal part of the scissors. I sat down and cried, realizing just how close a call that one had been.
Nov. 6, 2011
At 6:12 am, Campbell walked into our bedroom and just stood there. My husband woke up and nudged me, ” Steph, I think Campbell got into the Desitin, her hair is covered in it.” I realized she must have taken it upstairs and hurried up to retrieve it. Upon entering the twins’ room my eyes instantly began to burn and my sinuses cleared. I launched a full investigation and quickly learned that someone had left the upstairs bathroom door unlocked and they had infiltrated it, climbed to the upper shelf and confiscated a full jar of Vapor Rub and a bottle of baby powder. My eldest daughter had proceeded to lather the heads of Campbell (3 years old,) Anderson (4 years old,) and Henley (1 year old) and then applied baby powder to each. It took 2 1/2 weeks and half a bottle of Dawn to wash the Vapor Rub out of Campbell’s hair.
Before I go to bed at night, I have to scan the house for sharp objects (scissors, nail clippers, ballpoint pens,) make certain there are no half-full cups of liquid on any surface, and put out of sight any bowls of candy, boxes of donuts, or reachable tomatoes. (Don’t ask, it was bad.)
What sort of mayhem do your angels get themselves into?